One of our children’s deepest needs is to feel heard, and by listening carefully and expressing empathy, parents can help fill this need. More importantly, research has found that if someone feels empathy, even if it’s just from watching a touching video, it can make them feel more connected to — and generous toward — others. In other words, practicing empathy with your kids can help them grow up to be emotionally intelligent adults.
It's easy to feel frightened and overwhelmed in today's world. But it IS possible, even in scary times, to be guided by the values that matter most to us, including the commitment to provide a calm, loving home for our children. To do that, we need a sense of optimism -- the conviction that things will work out, and that what we do can have a positive impact.
With the many weeks of war in Ukraine following Russia's invasion, kids may see disturbing images and videos on TV and social media or hear about the possibility of World War III. “It’s a brand-new thing that today’s parents have never had to really explain to their kids in terms of a war that is so in their face”. With so many images of violence and so few answers, your kids likely are aware of the fighting even if it's far away - and they can be terrified or at the very least, extremely worried or troubled. As you engage in conversation about Ukraine, consider the following.
As the pandemic stretches out long and wide, kids across the board are feeling the same stressors as adults - yet many don’t have the life experience to feel confident they can get through it or the proper instruction for proven coping techniques (like mindfulness!). The endless ‘doom cycle’ on the news only exacerbates this situation, while kids wait for school life and extracurriculars to kick back in (providing needed relief from being at home with harried, worried family members). Adults can help, by staying aware and being proactive with interventions, open communication and consistently modelling healthy behaviours and strategies.
Getting back to the Fall school routine is exhilarating, yet can also be anxiety-producing for kids and families alike - especially given our last few years dealing with the many pandemic changes. Check out these tips from the Child Mind Institute to reduce stress at home, and gear up for success. Adding a sprinkle of mindfulness to your daily routine can also be a powerful antidote to stress. Check out Kidevolve’s Can of Delight or Worry Box (by Jeff Warren) to boost confidence and cope with worries, or Heart Medicine (by Christine Alevizakis) to get a head start on self-care! And you can listen to audio-only versions of these cool Creative Mind Journeys here.
During pandemics, personal choices determine whether we contain or spread the virus. Our decisions also govern something even more contagious—our emotions. When they’re out of control, one person’s irritability can upset the whole family’s happiness. But, if we understand and harness transmissible emotions, they can (like a vaccine) protect family wellbeing.
Expressing gratitude releases oxytocin in the brain, which promotes a feeling of empathy, calmness, trust, and a sense of safety,” says author and parent coach Elaine Uskoski. Plus, “having the ability to look for a positive perspective during trying times gives a child an opportunity to control their emotional response. A child will then be less likely to experience fear, anxiety, and a sense of powerlessness.
This week, join internationally acclaimed parenting expert Alyson Schafer as she features Kidevolve on her The Adlerian Way podcast. Take a listen and see why Alyson is so jazzed about Kidevolve’s Imaginarium and our zany, zesty, soothing, Creative Mind Journeys™ - first-of-their kind audio stories that mix music, sound fx, incredible voice talent and pure whimsy to deliver highly imaginative tales that double as smart guided practices. Alyson interviews founder Kirsten Chase to see why teaching kids core self-regulation skills doesn’t need to seem punitive or boring - and why adults are digging these tracks too!
Nearly half of parents of children under age 18 say their stress levels related to the coronavirus pandemic are high, with managing their kids’ online learning a significant source of stress for many. Using these four reminders in our homes, we can work to support our children’s emotional well-being, while making this time as meaningful as possible for them.
Let’s face it: Remote learning wasn’t exactly a success the first time around. Spring’s abrupt school closures sent teachers scrambling to connect with students and left parents struggling to support children at home.
Katie Foss, a professor at Middle Tennessee State University, in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, says tech was such an issue in her children’s district that their school made all work optional and didn’t allow online classes. Her 8- and 11-year-old quickly felt disconnected and lost their motivation.
“We knew the teachers very much wanted to be in contact with the students,” she says. “They just couldn’t.”
Teachers like Jenn Osen-Foss, a seventh-grade social studies teacher in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, faced challenges too. “Once I was doing both homeschooling and holding office hours and meetings, it became very difficult,” says Osen-Foss, who had a kindergartner and third grader in remote learning as well. “Things started falling apart.”
This school year, no one is hoping for a repeat of all that.
We asked for their recommendations on how they can work together to become stronger allies for students.
Help kids get prepared. Before the pandemic, most children weren’t rolling out of bed five minutes before classes started and showing up wearing PJs and eating cereal under the desk. Teachers still appreciate the gesture, which ensures that children are alert and focused before class starts.
Make space for schoolwork. Teachers note that kids concentrate better if they have a dedicated space at home for class time. Consider any spot that’s quiet, neat, and free from distractions—which may require rearranging furniture or clearing toys from a corner of your child’s bedroom.
Teach online etiquette. It’s hard enough keeping kids’ attention in the physical classroom—but when all students are online, with lots of fun distractions, educators can find it challenging to maintain control. Parents can help by instructing their kids not to make faces, type messages to friends, or otherwise interrupt lessons. Children also don’t always realize that class time is interactive, says Autumn Kelley, an elementary special education teacher in Washington, D.C., and a part of the National Geographic educator community. So parents should remind kids that when lessons take place online, they’re allowed—and expected—to speak up when they’re called on.
“Students were used to being online for entertainment and gaming,” Kelley says. “They struggled with the idea of verbally communicating with me on-screen.”
Let your kid take breaks. “In a regular classroom, kids take breaks all day long,” says Jill Reynolds, a fourth- and fifth-grade teacher at Coyote Creek Elementary School, in San Ramon, California, and a part of the National Geographic educator community. “Kids move around the room. They often leave lessons for a drink of water.”
Allowing kids to take quick breaks when they’re working independently on assignments helps refresh their brains so they can stay more focused and engaged. In fact, studies show that mental downtime can increase productivity, decrease stress, and spike brain function in children, things teachers always need from their students, but especially when instructing online. (Here are some ideas for quick brain breaks.)
Set the right tone. By staying positive on social media as well as in conversations with kids at home, caregivers signal that they know teachers are doing the best they can—and that attitude trickles down to students. “We set the tone as parents for how this year is going to go,” Foss says.
Talk to us. Parents and teachers alike recognize communication is critical this year. Teachers are ready to listen. “Let us know right away if there are academic challenges your student is facing,” Kelley says. “Let us know about any tech issues too.”
Make screen time manageable. Screen time is a major concern for parents. Too much time online can be overwhelming (especially for young learners), which leads to cranky, exhausted kids for at-home parents to deal with. So they appreciate when it’s limited—or at least flexible so children can turn off the camera and just listen if they choose.
“I loved that my daughter's first-grade teacher only had one Zoom call per week and attendance was optional,” says Heidi Gollub, who has five remote students at home in Austin.
Give students time to complete assignments. Parents also agree that a flexible assignment schedule helps a lot—especially for those who need to assist their children to complete schoolwork. Gollub was relieved that her first grader had a week to complete assignments. Her daughter also had the freedom to work ahead, which quickly motivated her.
“She started to front-load her week and have four-day weekends,” Gollub says.
Clarify expectations. The big picture is no small issue for parents. Understanding teachers’ overall expectations helps them plan out and oversee their child’s progress in an organized way. This year, for instance, parents of older students might need extra communication on where their child should be so they can manage their normally independent student a bit more. Parents with young children might need milestones spelled out as the months progress.
Megh Knappenberger of Overland Park, Kansas, whose son will start kindergarten remotely, is looking for such milestones. “That way we can follow along throughout the year and make sure he isn’t falling behind.”
There may be bumps along the way, but this year can still go reasonably well while families wait for life to return to normal. Until then, understanding and empathy can go a long way.
As a teacher and a parent, Osen-Foss understands the situation from both sides. Her wish for those navigating remote learning this year: “Honestly, I think kids, teachers, and families need patience and grace.”
